Facing darkness to heal the collective - my personal story

As we mentioned several times over the past weeks we’re going through the Lions Gate portal, a three week period in which the Sun, the star Sirius, the Earth and the Galactic Center are in alignment with each other. It is known to be a time that enables us to make leaps in our consciousness if we are open to the energy that is available. But what does that actually mean and how do you do that? Let me share from my own experience…

Making leaps in consciousness means we need to stretch our perception of reality in the sense of realizing that the way we view reality and claim it to be is for a big part based upon what we learned and have accepted reality to be. In other words shoving aside the expression ‘This is just the way it is’ and opening ourselves to a deeper understanding of why things are the way they are.

The collective

A few weeks ago I (Marieke) had the interesting experience of sitting near to a fire all by myself during a weekend of Shamanic training. The idea was to connect to the fire and through the fire connect to the collective. While sitting all by ourselves the invitation was to allow anything to come up from this collective we wish to transform and then offer a bit of conifer to the flames. What came up for me were a lot of things connected to the oppression of women throughout the ages and I kept offering those things to the fire. The biggest one that kept coming up was the fear of being persecuted, I even felt strong physical sensations connected to that one.

Pitch black

The next day we were invited to make a Shamanic journey to the Collective Field. Usually when I do Shamanic journeys it’s like I’m stepping into a movie, they are always a very visual and lively experience for me. But this time it just remained pitch black and I felt a strong resistance to enter this field. It didn’t feel safe. To my surprise I wasn’t the only one who had this experience as I learned through the sharing afterwards.

Persecution & condemnation

The days afterwards it felt like a vault had opened up in my mind and I was being persecuted from within. My mind's biggest vocal point of attack was my ‘useless’ practice of yoga and meditation and all interest in anything spiritual. It was like all the voices of all the condemnation throughout the times were bundling up into the voice of my mind, flooding me with judgment and rejection of anything spiritual, since it was all just ‘unproven’ nonsense.

Thanks to years of practice and of course life experience, I was somehow able to let my mind rage on, observe the thoughts and consequent feelings, but I can assure you it wasn’t a very ‘nice’ experience. I had to gather all my inner strength to keep going. While I was designing the Seven Days Seven Chakras sequences there was a continual voice going on in my head that kept telling me it doesn’t make any sense and that I was wasting my time.

Witch hunt

I had the intuitive feeling that this onslaught of negativity and ‘attack’ had something to do with my connection to the collective and that there was some kind of purge going on. I even had three nights in a row in which I woke up soaking wet as if I was sweating it all out. And then somehow I ended up reading a book that came on my path as I was researching the Goddess Durga for the third module of our Teacher Training. In this book the writer makes the point of how Goddess became God and how the Divine Feminine has been systematically taken out of our society in the course of the past 5000 years. One of the methods has been the witch hunt that lasted for 400 years, a really dangerous time to be a woman.

Although I know about these facts it became clear to me that what I was going through was a way of becoming conscious of how this collective wound was operating within myself. I recognized the fear within me of being persecuted and being brought to the stake. Not literally but in the way it happens nowadays, on Social Media for example.

Kundalini

So now I’m facing this fear consciously and paying close attention to how my way of thinking and behaving is influenced by it and most importantly how I can set myself free from this deep ingrained conditioning that has been going on for a long time. Through this I find renewed courage and inspiration to dedicate my life to Kundalini, the Shakti power within us all regardless of gender, whose aim is to set us free and become empowered from within. As I made these realizations in the past week I could feel her very present within me, sometimes literally as electricity in my spine. So, I keep going regardless of what the voice in my head is telling me and I hope my personal story will inspire you to do the same in your own way!

Embody the Light

On Tuesday the 8th of August we’re offering the third sequence of The Light Trilogy during the peak of the Lions Gate. This session ‘Embody the Light’ is designed to hold space for ourselves during times that shake us up, strengthening the heart to stay compassionate and using Kundalini exercises to embody the light, allowing us to be radiant and fully present. You are most welcome to join us. You can either join the session on its own or activate The Light Trilogy Bundle. If you have a membership, all these sessions are included.

[wpi_designer_button id=60240]