A story of healing

When I, Marieke, embarked on the path of Kundalini Yoga thirteen years ago I was answering to a deep inner longing of my Soul that pushed me forward on my healing journey.


There were certain patterns going on in my life that were draining my vital life force energy and I intuitively understood that I needed to make a move to prevent myself from ending up in what we now call a burn out. Thank god I was able to shift gears supported by the provided practices and my deep commitment to myself through those practices. I am convinced that joining the teacher training back in 2011 has changed the course of my life.


Drain in energy

Although I was already following my calling in teaching and creating theater performances with underprivileged children surviving on the streets in countries such as Namibia, Ghana or Honduras, there was something that was creating a severe drain in my energy. This wasn’t the work with the children themselves, working with them, creating these performances and presenting them to their communities was truly amazing. However the whole work around it, the raising of funds, continuously having to convince the right people of why they should invest in our projects, writing funding requests to try to fit into a certain mold in order to stand a chance, that was too much. It felt like I needed to hand over too much of my authentic drive in order to please someone else.


Wounded inner child

At the same time, and this something I realized a bit further down the road, my wounded inner child was a big drive behind all of my hard work. With my hard work to provide these children with a voice, with a chance to be seen and acknowledged by their communities, I was at the same time tending to the unseen and scared child inside of me. Through doing these projects I was healing a lot of my own wounds, I was fighting to be seen, pushing to make it work, in a way, like the street children, I was fighting to survive. This can bring an enormous inner drive, but in the long run, as I found out, it is not sustainable. Something needed to change.


Feeling rage

At a certain moment I could feel an inner rage inside of me. A sense of anger that wasn’t directed at anyone in particular, but I could feel it in the background all the time. Nagging, itching, irritating. And no matter how many self-help books I would read, it wouldn’t go away. And then Kundalini Yoga came on my path. I will never forget the first time I went to an early morning Sadhana, chanting mantras at the break of dawn. It was like my heart cracked open and the child inside of me felt held, seen, taken care of.


Stop running away

Not long after that first introduction I decided to join the teacher training and it is truly no exaggeration to say that it changed my life. The training reintroduced me to myself and gave me the chance to stop running away through overworking myself, from what I needed to do at this point in my life: feel my pain. All of the anger I felt inside of me was actually a defense mechanism to not feel all the unprocessed grief that burdened my soul. Therapy and reading books could make me see how this might be an issue for me, but Kundalini Yoga gave me the means to actually feel all that needed to be felt in order to be set free.


The unattended parts of our Soul

To make a long story short, this is a story of healing. Healing is not about nursing our wounds but about diving deep to the unattended parts of our Soul, to be brave enough to listen to your deep inner longing even though this may result in your life turning upside down. A wound is your Soul calling you back home, it wants to show you something, it wants you to stop in your tracks and take a breath, take a pause and step out of the high speed train of our lives, if needed by pulling the emergency brake.


Connection to Source

Healing is about coming back in touch with the animating force behind all of life, the Sacred. In a way it’s about reestablishing an unimpeded flow of vital life force energy, the power that makes all healing possible in the first place. Our wounds are invitations to pay attention to those deep parts inside of us that we have locked away and such we cut ourselves off from a direct connection to Source and don’t feel whole. Healing is like sitting down at a fire with yourself and then listening to all the stories that need to be heard, felt and understood in order to be integrated.


Sacred fire place

For me, joining the Kundalini Yoga Teacher Training was this sacred fire place where I could invite all the suppressed parts of myself to share their stories. It gave me the guts and the stamina to show up for myself, for all the parts I thought were too much, too heavy or too sad. And then yes, my whole life started to change because my inner landscape changed. Being reintroduced to my deep inner world was also how I was reintroduced to the Sacred, to the Unseen and it felt like finally coming home.


An invitation

Now, thirteen years later I am inviting you to come and sit around this fire. To meet all the parts of yourself through the teachings of not just Kundalini Yoga but also other beautiful signposts left to us by our ancestors to help us to listen to our Soul, to feel the direct connection to Spirit and to feel fully alive!

Maybe you are like me, thirteen years ago, working very hard, feeling something needs to change, but you don’t really know how? If that is the case I invite you to take a deep breath and feel deep inside your heart and ask yourself: What will happen if I step out of this high speed  train and give myself the opportunity to breathe, to pause, to feel?

The first year ‘Walking the Wheel’ is open for everyone who feels this longing. If you feel the call to pass it on then the Teacher Training is for you. You can find all the details of both trainings here:


Who knows we will sit around the fire soon. We would be honored to have you with us.

Marieke & Tim