The strength of an open heart

 

You cannot be open to fully feel love⠀

And all its beauty ⠀

Until you can be open to fully feel pain⠀

In all its sorrow⠀

In the strength of my heart⠀

I saw the fragility of yours⠀

— Christine Evangelou

 

It’s a full moon today and guess what? Integration of the polarities remains the theme. This full moon is inviting us to speak openly and honestly about our feelings, to express ourselves daring to be vulnerable. We are all way more strong than we can imagine, and so much of this strength lies in our ability to be vulnerable and to show our emotions.

 

Speak about your feelings

One of the things we all need to come to terms with is that we can never force anyone to see things the way we do, and we can’t blame them for seeing things differently either. If we stay stuck on that level, we just keep on fighting. But what we can do is speak about our feelings, share what is living inside of us with those who are close to us, sharing our needs, fears, joy and sorrow.

 

Good ground to resolve issues

This full moon is giving you a good ground to resolve issues in your relationships, you’re encouraged to share your heart. But please bear in mind that when you express your feelings to try and not blame your partner, friend, son or daughter, whoever you feel the need to share with, for your feelings. Sure, you can share how something someone has said or done has upset you, you can draw the line, but see if you can take a step closer to your own feelings instead of making them responsible for how you feel.

 

Checking in

For example, let’s say your partner made a downgrading remark about the way you look and this made you feel very insecure. Before you start the conversation check in with yourself, why does it make you feel so insecure?  Can you trace back this insecurity to earlier events in your life? How does this insecurity make you feel, what kind of thoughts do they trigger, how do these thoughts amplify your sense of insecurity and your resentment towards your partner, or your sadness or anger.

 

Meet in the middle

Can you see what kind of behaviour these feelings trigger in you? Passive aggressive remarks, silent treatment, internal retreat, slamming doors, leaving, yelling, etc. If you are willing to share about this honestly, today is a great day to do so. Remember, not to blame your partner, or to convince them that you are right and they are wrong, but to meet each other in the middle, in the heart.

 

Ask permission

First of all, ask the person you wish to talk to if they have the time and the willingness to have a conversation, you need to ask permission to enter their space, that is the best ground to start an open sharing.

To avoid your partner from feeling attacked you can tell them: Your remark triggered a lot of insecurity in me and that was pretty tough. Feelings of shame, anger, sadness, inferiority, etc. arose and this made me feel such and such. These kinds of feelings make me behave in such and such way. You can also share how you see these feelings are related to something from the past.

 

In love

When you formulate it in this way, you do share about your feelings but you are not making them responsible anymore, you are taking back your power and through your honest sharing, exposing the mechanism inside of you, you liberate a lot of energy that you would normally invest in this pattern. This energy is now released and flowing back to you and this can be very cathartic. It can make you feel in love with yourself and once you love yourself there is endless love to share.